Your Draft Day Special - The All Salma Hayek Team

Get it? Because she's known for her bust. It's a play on words. About boobies. Now, without further ado, here are your biggest busts of the new millennium. I know you've seen a million of these, but this one is different because today's draft is included!

Quarterback

David Carr (#1, 2002, Houston)
Alex Smith (#1, 2005, San Francisco)

JaMarcus Russell (#1, 2007, Oakland)

Matthew Stafford (#1, 2009, Detroit)

This one is so easy, it is reserved only for top picks. Even Ryan Leaf might not make this decade's list. Carr and Smith need no further elaboration, and JaMarcus Russell is well on his way to joining them. Then, we have poor Matt Stafford, going to Detroit #1 overall, with the only consolation prize being the $40 million now in his bank account. This year's draft has clearly become a repeat of 2002, where Houston nabbed Carr at #1 and Detroit picked up Joey Harrington at #3. Both guys sucked, despite all their hype. Something tells me that because Detroit and the Jets are involved, the same will happen to Stafford and Sanchez in this year's draft. Salma's knocks don't lie. Oh yeah, they predict the future, too.

Runningback

Cedric Benson (2005, #4, Chicago)

Cadillac Williams (2005, #5, Tampa Bay)

Really, this decade was pretty kind on runningbacks. Thank goodness for the 2005 draft, which was absolutely BRUTAL. Go ahead, Wikipedia it, I'll wait for you. It's only been a few years, and most of the first-rounders can already be written off, including these two. Cadillac enjoyed a Rookie of the Year season, then went all "A-Train" Anthony Thomas on his career. Cedric Benson, on the other hand, never even had that, and is now a head cashier at Taco Bell.

Wide Receiver

Peter Warrick (# 4, Cincinnati, 2000)
Charles Rogers (#2, Detroit, 2003)
Troy Williamson (#7, Minnesota, 2005)
Darrius Heyward-Bey (#7, Oakland, 2009)

Not one of these guys lasted longer than five years in the NFL. Troy Williamson cemented his career with the Vikings with this play: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9WZNyYouzuk&feature=related Oakland guaranteed us another one for this decade by passing up on Michael Crabtree for Heyward-Bey, whose two last names won't translate into one good player.

Tight End

Vernon Davis (#6, San Francisco, 2006)

Still waiting for this guy to produce. Unfortunately, the only thing he has produced so far is making head coach Mike Singletary so furious that he dropped his pants during his first half-time locker room speech as front-man of the Niners. Actually, that is pretty impressive.

Offensive Tackle

Mike Williams (#4, Buffalo, 2002)
Bryant McKinnie (#7, Minnesota, 2002)

Robert Gallery (#2, Oakland, 2004)

The "safest" pick of the draft has produced a few doozies. Mike Williams and Bryant McKinnie have a combined weight of 1,300 pounds, making it way too easy for today's lightning quick defensive ends to blow by them. As for Gallery, he is the only player chosen in the Top 8 of the '04 Draft to not make a Pro Bowl. And it's not because he's been snubbed.

Offensive Guard

None

These never get picked, because most the top linemen in college play tackle. Since I have nothing else to say, enjoy another this picture of Scarlett Johanssen, who was just chosen to be on the cover of next year's draft bust blog.

Center

Also none. Good thing this picture is keeping your attention.

Defensive End

Courtney Brown (#1, Cleveland, 2000)
Justin Smith (#4, Cinncinnati, 2001)

Chris Long (#2, St. Louis, 2008)

Justin Smith is cashing in because San Francisco ignores stats. He's garbage. Courtney Brown was supposed to be Reggie White, but has instead played like Barry White. Chris Long can still turn it around, but his Hall of Fame dad is too busy trying to turn Chevy around with his "if you don't own a Chevy, you're a pussy" campaign. Chris could use a man-step, but his dad won't allow it.

Defensive Tackle

Gerard Warren (#3, Cleveland, 2001)
Ryan Sims (#6, Kansas City, 2002)

DeWayne Robertson (#4, New York Jets, 2003)

Johnathan Sullivan (#6, New Orleans, 2003)

Why does Cleveland's defense still suck? It all starts up front with the poo-poo platter of Warren and Brown. Sullivan and Robertson are out of the league, while Sims can't even start over Chris Hovan in Tampa Bay.

Linebacker

A.J. Hawk (#5, Green Bay, 2006)

Vernon Gholston (#6, New York Jets, 2008)

This position was pretty safe up until a couple years ago. At least Hawk is married to Brady Quinn's sister. I'm told that's a good thing, but clearly she's still torn between the two. Gholston has just been awful, but by this point I've put up so many pictures of pretty girls that you just don't care anymore.

Cornerback

Dunta Robinson (#10, Houston, 2004)
Pacman Jones (#6, Tennessee, 2005)
Antrell Rolle (#8, Arizona, 2005)

You know what? Pacman makes it so much fun that you can ignore the other two. MAKE IT RAIN!!!! Good luck in your next career as a porn star.

Safety

Michael Huff (#7, Oakland, 2006)

LaRon Landry (#6, Washington, 2007)

Thankfully the NFL has insane owners like Al Davis, whose team is all over this blog, and Daniel Snyder, who usually trades these types of draft picks for 34 year old free agents.

It's because of guys like them that ensure these busty-themed articles always have a place on draft day.