Do the Helen Keller, and putt with your hips

By now, we've all heard the song by 3Oh!3 that tells us all to avoid trusting hoes and dance as Helen Keller would speak. For whatever reason, radio stations nation-wide have edited the word "ho" from the course, yet they leave in that whole "Do the Helen Keller, and talk with your hips" chant. Call me crazy, but it's hard to determine which is more offensive. Personally, I love all of it, so we'll leave it up to each individual radio station's consent as to which of these instructionals are appropriate.

- Do the Travis Henry, and make thirteen kids.

- Do the Tonya Harding, and talk with your whipping stick.

- Do the Kobe Bryant, and cheat on your wife.

- Do the Boof Bonser, and gain 30 pounds.

- Do the Ron Artest, and beat up some fans.

- Do the Erin Andrews, and look really hot.

- Do the Michael Phelps, and swim with your hash.

- Do the Plaxico Burress, and shoot yourself in the hip.

- Do the Joe Mauer, and just rule at life.

- Do the Lance Armstrong, and win with one nut.

- Do the Pittsburgh Pirates, and trade your whole team.

- Do the O.J. Simpson, and take back your shizz.

- Do the Marko Jaric, and impregnate a model.

- Do the Ricky Rubio, and stay in home country.

- Do the Tony Romo, and score a fat chick.

- Do the Robert Flores, and suck at your job.

- Do the Brett Favre, and MAKE UP YOUR MIND, DAMMIT!

- Do the Mark Prior, and never go pitch.

- Do the Blake Griffin, and be doomed to the Clips.

- Do the Pete Rose, and lie for 26 years.

Don't trust a slugger, never trust a slugger, don't trust a slugger, don't trust MLB.