Budget Cut Time

With the economy in absolute shambles, companies everywhere are doing everything they can to survive. It's no different in the sports world, as people have begun dropping their season tickets as a way to cut back. In order to win them back, teams are trying to give fans more bang for their buck. Whether it is through promotions, or cuts of their own, every team is doing their part.

-While the New York Knicks continue to clear out cap space to pursue LeBron in 2010, they've started getting the fans more involved to ease the wait. They've decided to revert back to the 1996 blockbuster hit Eddie. Instead of allowing a fan to coach the team, like what Whoopi Goldberg did in the movie, they're asking fans to disguise themselves as Stephon Marbury and complain about their $20 million contracts.

-Many teams are spending less money on a singer for the National Anthem. As a result, Tatiana Del Toro from American Idol has agreed to sing all 41 home games for the Clippers, Nets, Timberwolves, Heat, and Rockets. However, her contract might be cut short because she keeps adding words.

-The Philadelphia 76ers made some changes to the cheerleading staff by adding the girls from VH1's Rock of Love Bus. Unfortunately, the crowds have swayed from family oriented groups to thirty-something bald men, half of whom have been interviewed by MSNBC's Chris Hanson.

-Not wanting to cut their payroll at all, the New York Yankees have stopped buying steroids for A-Rod. He has to buy them on his own now. Just kidding. They'll still buy the juice for him.

-After seeing ticket sales drop due to poor quarterback play, the Minnesota Vikings addressed the problem by signing a pair of quarterbacks to duel for the starter spot. Jamie Foxx and Keanu Reeves will start battling it out in OTA's this spring.

-The Detroit Lions made a similar move, but saved money by signing a two-way player. Adam Sandler will quarterback under the name Paul Crewe, and will start at linebacker as Bobby Boucher.

-With prize money down this year, golfer Boo Weekley picked up more sponsors. They include biscuits, gravy, and Larry the Cable Guy.

-NASCAR is doing their part by making races shorter. While the mileage will be unchanged, drivers will have to be completely drunk before competing.

-Due to the high cost of maintaining the ivy at Wrigley Field, the Chicago Cubs will now line their outfield fence with recycled corks from Sammy Sosa's bats.

-The most successful campaign has come from the Dallas Cowboys, who are promoting their upcoming season with a Debbie Does Dallas theme. So far, it's been a complete money shot.

Inappropriate? Maybe, but people are coming.